


Matching Pitch

by often_adamanta



Category: The Strange Case of Starship Iris (Podcast)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Crew as Family, F/F, Found Family, I don't like that other was the only applicable option for Krejjh's relationship, Krejjh is also right about humans and the gender binary, Krejjh is great at relationship advice, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/often_adamanta/pseuds/often_adamanta
Summary: “I just won another bet,” Krejjh answers smugly.
Relationships: Brian Jeeter/Krejjh, Violet Liu/Arkady Patel
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Matching Pitch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gostaks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gostaks/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, gostaks! I hope your season is bright and gay. 
> 
> Thanks to my amazing beta, who always makes things better!!

“I need to talk to you,” Arkady snaps as the door whips shut behind her. 

Krejjh turns two startled eyes toward the door, the third remaining on the instrument panel. They still don’t trust this new ship. “Are you hiding from Science Officer Lui again?” they ask. “I thought you were past that after the kitchen. Remember the kitchen, and the day when both we and true love prevailed victorious? Now you get to live happily ever after so I can be the flower child at your wedding and sprinkle petals across the floor as everyone gets drunk and dances very poorly. I understand that’s a very important and traditional part of the wedding ceremony.”

Arkady stares. 

“Anyway,” Krejjh says after an awkwardly long pause. “What’s up?”

The question seems to refocus Arkady. She narrows her eyes and asks, “You have a bet with Jeeter about which one of you can get me to talk about emotions again. What are the stakes?”

“How do you even know about that?! Did you have the Rumor bugged? Crewman Jeeter and I also had a bet about that.” 

“What? No.” Arkady looks annoyed. “The Captain wouldn’t let me.” 

“Do you have this ship bugged?” Krejjh tries. 

“No.” Arkady sighs.

“Was it the nano cloud? I thought they were on our side now. They said they loved me.” 

“It wasn’t the cloud.” Arkady interrupts that line of thought. “I’m not the one who can communicate with them. Remember?” 

“Then _how_?” Krejjh asks plaintively. 

“After the last time, Jeeter kept trying to get me to talk about, you know, stuff.” Arkady grimaces at the memory. “Lots of leading questions and long pauses. He did it even though we were in the middle of a suicide mission to New Jupiter, during which we were all dying from the brainwashed, eavesdropping nano swarm. I figured the stakes must be pretty good if he was still trying despite all that.” 

“Oh!” Krejjh says, thinking aloud. “In his defense, he’s usually more subtle, but we were on one hell of a deadline and--” 

“Krejjh!” Arkady cuts in. “The stakes?”

“Oh, they’re good, alright,” Krejjh says with relish. “But you made me swear to never talk about our sex life again. You said you’d vomit all over the control panel, and while I’m fairly certain that was human sarcasm, I don’t want to risk it. I feel like I just got the regime stink off.” Krejjh runs a possessive hand over the control panel. 

“Ugh,” Arkady groans. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Uh, duh, that’s what I just said.” Krejjh pauses and studies Arkady. “Why did you want to know?”

“What?” 

“Why did you want to know about the bet? If you’ve known about it for weeks, it seems strange to ask now.” Another pause. Arkady leans back a little toward the door under the weight of Krejjh’s stare. “Unless. Ooooh. Ooooooooooh. Are we talking about feelings again? Because I am so here for it. Tell me what is going on in that soft squishy brain of yours.” 

Arkady gives a frustrated sigh. “Why? So you can win the bet with Jeeter?”

“It’s only a little because of that. Mostly it’s because now I’m curious, and also a little because you clearly want to talk or you wouldn’t be here.”

“This was a mistake.” 

Arkady turns as if to leave, and Krejjh jumps in to stop her. “Oh, come on. Please? I’m not too proud to beg. Pleeeeeease? Pretty, pretty pleeeeeeease?” 

“Okay, fine. Just shut up.” 

Krejjh covers their mouth with one hand. 

Arkady draws in a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “You and Jeeter are, like, really different.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you there,” Krejjh says, dropping their hand. “Is this a sex thing? Are we having a sex talk?”

“No!” Arkady responds firmly. 

Krejjh continues, matter of fact and unstoppable. “Because I have to tell you, I am not qualified for that conversation. You should really talk to Crewman Jeeter. I’ve only had sex with one human, but he’s had sex with a whole bunch of them. Like, a lot. He’ll definitely be able to help.”

“It’s not a sex question!” Arkady insists. 

“Uh huh,” Krejjh says, disbelief clear in their tone. 

“Just for the record, it’s really weird how much pride you take in Jeeter’s sex history.” Arkady’s nose curls up on the last words in disgust. 

“What? Why? What else would I feel?” 

“I think most normal people would be a little jealous,” Arkady says drily.

“Oh. Yeah, jealousy. Jeeeaaloooussssy. Brian explained that one. I’ve got to be honest, I don’t really get it. Like on a scale of inexplicable human stuff, it’s below the gender binary but like way above the human obsession with cats. I almost get that one, even if fur is not as universally attractive as you people think it is.” Krejjh trails off, mind distracted by thoughts of cats, until they remember the point and continue. “Anyway! Why wouldn’t I be proud of Brian being a highly skilled and popular partner for sex?”

“Keep talking and you’ll find out how much I wasn’t exaggerating about the vomit,” Arkady warns.

“Touchy,” Krejjh says. “So. Crewman Jeeter and I are very different but not in a sexy way. What does that have to do with feelings? 

Reluctantly, Arkady says, “You’re different, but you’re - in tune. I mean, you have the same shitty sense of humor, and you always understand each other’s weirdness.” Arkady pauses to frown. “I’ve never been in tune with someone. I'm not sure I even can be.” 

“I dunno. You seem pretty in tune with Captain Trepathi at times,” Krejjh points out. 

“That’s different,” Arkady says. 

“Sure, but not as much as you’d think.” At Arkady’s resistance to this idea, Krejjh redirects. “Besides, it’s not like that happened immediately or by accident. It took a ton of work.” 

“If I wanted this kumbayah bullshit, I’d have talked to Trepathi.”

“But it’s true! I couldn’t even speak any Human English when we met. Plus, remember the tandem, romantic eating? Our past is littered with misunderstandings. But we just keep working on it, and talking, and learning about each other. It’s work, but it’s also fun, you know?” 

“Not really,” Arkady says, self-deprecating. “I like learning about Violet. But. Exposing her to some of the things in my past? Honestly, that just sounds shitty. And vaguely terrifying.” 

“Yeah,” Krejjh sighs. “I mean, sometimes, sure. And you don’t have to tell her everything. But part of being in tune with someone is working through problems together. If you don’t do that, you’re just two people going through life alone.” 

“I really wish that made less sense so that I could ignore it.” Arkady says, a touch petulant. “Maybe I’ll just go live in the vents again,” she jokes.

“A valid, if unorthodox, life choice,” Krejjh says cheerfully. “There’s no Science Officer Lui in the vents, though. Seems like a design flaw.” 

Arkady snorts, but doesn’t disagree. 

“Wait, can you even fit into the air vents? This is a whole different ship. I doubt the IGR builds with the express purpose of smuggling.” 

“You’d be surprised,” Arkady says. 

She takes a sudden step to the left as the door opens behind her, revealing Brian rubbing his eyes sleepily. He pauses in the doorway when he sees that Krejjh and Arkady are both staring at him intently. “Hi?” he says, confused.

“But now seems like a great time to find out,” Arkady says. “See you later, Krejjh.” 

“Anytime, First Mate Patel.” 

She looms until Brian moves out of the way, and then disappears with a snick as the door whips shut behind her. 

“Dude,” Brian says. “What was that about?” 

“I just won another bet,” Krejjh answers smugly. 

“I knew it was only a matter of time before Arkady admitted how much she likes all our jokes.” Brian offered a fist bump.

“No, still the other one, “ Krejj says, but accepted the fist bump anyway. 

“She talked about feelings _again_?” Brain asks. “I did not see that coming. I figured it was a once in a lifetime event.” 

“I think Science Officer Liu has been good for her,” Krejjh says. 

Brian nods. “I think we also have to consider that she trusts you, Krejjh.” 

Krejjh laughs. “Remember how she acted when we met? Who would have ever thought?” 

“No kidding,” Brian says with a smile. 

“We also talked about your extensive sexual history.” 

“Oh, I’m sure Arkady loved that,” Brian says sarcastically. 

“Human sarcasm!” Krejjh grins. “You are correct. She did not.” 

“You’ve also got to stop telling people that I’ve slept with a ton of people,” Brian reminds them. 

“Why? It’s true! I took a poll! It has a fair sample size and everything.” 

“Yeah, bud, but I maintain that randomly and loudly asking strangers in a public place how many people they’ve had sex with doesn’t yield reliable results.” 

“If you say so,” Krejjh says doubtfully. 

“What did you really talk about with Arkady?” Brian says. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Krejjh says. “We mostly talked about what an excellent fiancé and romantic partner you are.” 

“Ahhhh, c’mere,” Brian says and pulls Krejjh into his arms for a cuddle. “How are you feeling about trying out that autopilot? We can go back to our bunk, and I can make good on the bet you’ve won.” 

“Actually,” Krejjh says, “that sounds really good.” They eye the panel suspiciously. 

“Assuming we can get the autopilot working, of course,” Brian says. 

“Crewman Jeeter,” Krejjh says sweetly, “it’s like you read my mind.”


End file.
